‘I Always Wondered: Was She Afraid?’: Counter-Protesters Remember the Death of Heather Heyer

The common narrative of the white nationalist rally in Charlottesville on Aug. 12, 2017, goes something like this: Confrontations between neo-Nazis and anti-racist counter-protestors escalated to a point of melee in the street, at which point a white nationalist protestor rammed his car into the group of counter-protestors, injuring dozens and killing a 32-year-old paralegal and anti-racist counter-protestor named Heather Heyer.

That is largely inaccurate.

By early afternoon on Saturday, Aug. 12, the rally was over before it was scheduled to begin. The activist counter-protestors had successfully driven the white nationalists from Charlottesville, with no thanks to law enforcement, which an independent report commissioned by the city later found “consistently failed to intervene, de-escalate or otherwise respond … despite clear evidence of violence.”

“The day was won,” remembers activist David Straughn. The mood was celebratory as counter-protestors decamped to a shady nearby park designated as a safe zone. Activists known as “Care Bears” handed out vegan burritos and peanut butter sandwiches. Someone brought a larger-than-life papier-mâché Sally Hemings puppet and waved it in the muggy air. “It was the most pure, ecstatic joy,” remembers activist Bill Burke, who is still today recovering from extensive injuries from what came next. “This was the highlight of the whole goddamn day,” says activist Constance Paige Young, who was also critically injured just minutes later.

“That’s when the call for support came,” says activist Emily Gorcenski. The group heard that some straggling white nationalists were harassing the residents of a nearby Section 8 housing development called Friendship Court, home to mostly people of color. The activists started their march once again. Soon, it became clear they weren’t needed at Friendship Court after all — the residents preferred to handle the threat on their own — and they marched through the streets back toward their safe-zone park.

It was then that a white nationalist plowed his Dodge Charger into a crowd of hundreds of jubilant counter-protestors, killing Heyer and injuring dozens of others.

The following oral history reconstructs the intense moments surrounding the car attack from over 150 hours of original interviews, including with many Antifa-aligned activists who have not previously shared their stories, as well as court documents, public statements and other published interviews. This is the most comprehensive account of the car attack in Charlottesville 2017 yet to be published. For ease of reading and historical accuracy, I have at times edited quotations to correct verb tenses or clarify what the subject is referring to. Names, titles and occupations are recorded as they were on Aug. 12, 2017.

Please note that what you are about to read includes graphic descriptions of the car attack, the injuries that followed and Heyer’s death.

These are the voices of Charlottesville, telling their own story.

I. ‘It Felt Like We Had Won’

By about 1:30 p.m. on Saturday, Aug. 12, things were winding down. The activist counter-protestors left Friendship Court and marched back toward the nearby park they were using as a safe zone.  

Elizabeth Sines, counter-protestor and University of Virginia law student: It felt like we had won: We had taken back our town and protected our people.  

Constance Paige Young, counter-protestor: I felt a type of relief because I was thinking, So, an unlawful assembly has been declared. The show is over. We’re on our way out. It felt like maybe in an hour I would be finding a ride [home]. So, I was happy.

Counter-protestor Marcus Martin joined in the crowd with his fiancé, Marissa Blair, and friends Heather Heyer and Courtney Commander.  

Marcus Martin, counter-protestor: We found that big crowd of happy people: cheers, clowns, people singing kumbaya and shit.

Emily Gorcenski, counter-protestor: Everyone was celebrating, but my thought is like, We’re on a street that's not closed to traffic. The cops are still out. There's National Guard out, [we] got a helicopter flying over us. And we are in a kettle zone. We're not in a good spot. So we need to get back to the streets that we're allowed to be on and get back to the parks where we're supposed to be.

Charlottesville Black matriarchs — and grandmothers — Rosia Parker and Katrina Turner were toward the front of the crowd.  

Rosia Parker, counter-protestor: So that's when we turned around to come back up to the Downtown Mall.

This one particular officer came from just out of nowhere. It's almost like he was an angel. He looked at me and Katrina and he was like, Don't go down Fourth Street, because I'm warning y'all, everywhere that y'all go, it's going to be considered an unlawful entry. Black Lives Matter, y'all are a danger right now, do not go down Fourth Street. So me and Katrina and her son, we looked at each other. We started talking among ourselves and we was like, We've got to lead these people and make sure we don't go down Fourth Street.

Katrina Turner, counter-protestor: We got to a spot and didn't know which way to go. And somebody hollered, Which way do we go?

Rosia Parker: And we was like, Don't go down Fourth Street. Anywhere but Fourth Street.

Katrina Turner: And this is what we were trying to tell one of the members of Black Lives Matter: that we were told, Don't go down Fourth street. But he was the one in charge of the bullhorn and all that. We know he says, Go ahead, go left.   

Rosia Parker: And that was Fourth Street.

Bill Burke: There's a saying in the leftist world, when you don't know, Always go left. So we started chanting, Always go left, and that's when we decided to turn left and go over Water Street there.

Elizabeth Sines: Fourth Street is pretty narrow, I would say much narrower than an ordinary street. And it's buildings on both sides, so it adds to the feeling of it being pretty narrow.

It was packed. There were a lot of us all in a line, like a big group. So it was a tight squeeze.

Katrina Turner: My son Timmy and another Black Lives Matter member were right there with Heather [Heyer], walking with Heather.

Susan Bro, Heather Heyer’s mother: My daughter Heather was wearing black because she was tending bar that afternoon. She worked two, sometimes three jobs, just to live on her own. And she hated to walk in the heat and here it is an August day and she’s dressed in black with her full-length hair in a long thick braid because that keeps it under control. But just the fact that my daughter was out there walking tells me how passionate she was about that.

INDEPENDENT REVIEW OF THE 2017 PROTEST EVENTS IN CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA., compiled by attorney Timothy J. Heaphy, known colloquially as the “Heaphy report”: The group of several hundred counter-protesters paused for a moment as they decided where to go. They maneuvered around two cars that appeared to be stuck at the intersection after having driven south on 4th Street.  

Stuck in one of those cars were sisters Tadrint and Micah Washington, 27 and 23-years-old. They had heard about the rally but had no plans to get anywhere near it.  

Tadrint Washington, survivor: I was coming from a friend’s house in Friendship Court. There were a lot of detours that way, which brought me down to Water Street. All the people was right there. And we got stuck because of the crowd.

Elizabeth Sines: That was when the car came.  

II. ‘Absolute, Total Chaos’

1:41 p.m.  

Marcus Martin: I was just walking behind Marissa, and I was looking at my phone about to go live, like let everybody know that, Hey everything’s fine. Everything’s fine.

And then I heard the tires screech.

Elizabeth Sines: You heard it before you saw it.  

Brennan Gilmore, counter-protestor: I heard from behind me a squeal and acceleration. 

Wednesday, counter-protestor: I was in a space between one parked car and a black pickup truck that was parked, and that was about a car-length’s worth. I remember seeing something in the corner of my eye.

Brennan Gilmore: When it hit the mall, because there's a big dip there, it slowed for a second. And I remember having this split-second thought, Oh, he's just ... This guy's trying to scare this crowd. That's really fucked up. It was an instant, but then it's no sooner that I had that immediate thought that he then really accelerated and slammed into the crowd.

Constance Paige Young: The only thing that I could think of was, We're all getting struck. We're about to get struck. I didn't think, Jump. Run. There was nothing there. It was just, We're about to get struck.

Elizabeth Sines: In my mind, I can still see it in slow motion. You just see a car fly down the road and hit this large group and crash into a car that had been at the base.

Star Peterson, counter-protestor: I never saw the car coming. So never, ever had a chance to get out of the way.

Elizabeth Sines: It sounded like if you would take a metal baseball bat and slide it across a wooden fence. Something I'll never forget.   

Marcus Martin: I looked up and just see people in the air. So I did what any person would do, I got my loved one out the way. I pushed Marissa out of the way. And then I got hit.

Zack Wajsgras: Just the sound of just bodies hitting metal and then very shortly after just piercing screams.

Emily Gorcenski: Thump, thump, thump, thump.

Katrina Turner: Wop, wop, wop, wop.

Star Peterson: I just heard three bumps. Two of them were his left tires going over my leg.

Brennan Gilmore: Bodies went everywhere, up in the air, on the side.

David Straughn, counter-protestor: I just see people flying up into the air.

Katrina Turner: All's we saw was bodies fly. And I didn't know who it was, I didn't know if it could have been my son.

Rosia Parker: It's a movie. It's a movie, and I'm standing right there. And I'm watching how many times when Heather got hit. I'm watching it, looking directly at her, counting how many times that she twirled around in the air and when she hit and rolled off the car, and I'm like, Oh shit.   

Star Peterson: I didn't know Heather Heyer, but I saw this white femme-presenting person flying through the air facing me. Everything slowed down and I remember thinking, That's what someone's eyes look like when they're dead.

Tadrint Washington: Before I know it, my head was in the steering wheel. I remember hitting my head, seeing a lady come over on my windshield.

L.Q., counter-protestor: As he plowed into Tay Washington’s car, I heard the cars crashing around me right before I landed on her hood. I did not feel the impact, and I did not feel my legs break as he drove into me. And I was still confused as I flew upside down through the air. If she had not been there, I believe I would be dead.

Tadrint Washington: I’m still in shock. I'm still like, Am I seeing this or am I not? Really, to be honest with you, I thought somebody bombed us. My vision wasn't really there because I hit my head so hard.  

Lisa Woolfork, counter-protestor and UVA professor: I looked up and I saw a shoe, just a shoe floating in the air. And I looked at it and I was like, What is happening? Is someone throwing shoes? Are people throwing projectiles? What is this? [A young man I knew] had been hit by the car with such force that his shoe had flown off his body and into the sky about 10 feet.

Natalie Romero, counter-protestor and UVA  second year: I get hit and the next thing I know is just darkness.

I could hear my heart beating. You know in movies, those war scenes where they were just hit or something, and it's just flashing? I couldn't see too much, but I felt dripping on my face.

Kendall King, counter-protestor and UVA  third year: It smelled terrible, like burning rubber. It was very quiet for one second while everyone figured out what the fuck happened.

Then, it was absolute, total chaos.

Constance Paige Young: I just remember it felt like there were a thousand pounds tied on my lower body. And I was just grabbing at anybody. ... And I remember I had tunnel vision. So, I couldn't see on the sides. I could only see literally what was directly in front of me. And it was almost like I had this vision as if it were in a movie. Nothing, nothing existed. This was just the only thing that my brain was thinking was, You get the hell out of here. You got to run.

S.L., counter-protestor: The very edge of my thigh made impact with the car and it knocked my feet out from under me, so I landed on my face a few yards from where I had been standing. I knew my face was wet with blood. I was in shock, and I did not know what happened to me. There was a moment I thought I could be dying.

Bill Burke: Next thing I know I was on the side of the road and there was a girl telling me that my head's bleeding, that I had a cut or a hole in my head, and I was looking at her and the words weren't making any sense. And she took my hand and put it up where my head was bleeding and I tried to stand up and I felt the most excruciating pain I've ever felt before. I mean, instantly took me to my knees and I closed my eyes and I was like, Oh, man, this is it.

Star Peterson: The next thing I remember is just being in the street and being like, OK. I need to get out of the street in case there's more cars coming. So I tried to move and it was too soon to even feel pain yet. I just registered my right leg doesn't work. So I yelled. Somebody pulled me out of the street and onto the sidewalk.

Wednesday: I just was running towards the car because I could see that there were people on the ground and that people were hurt. I wasn't processing anything. I didn't have any thoughts of like, This is on purpose. I just knew that we needed to get to people. And I had a medic. But I got two feet away from the bumper, a foot and a half, two feet away from the bumper, and I saw the reverse lights come on.

III. ‘I Thought That I Was About to Die’

S.L.: At that moment Fields slammed his car into reverse.

Wednesday: I very clearly remember having the thought, I'm going to get hit by a car. And I hope this doesn't suck.  

And actually, getting hit by the car did not suck because he was not going very fast when he caught me on his bumper, so that was fine. It was just getting picked up. But I got stuck on his trunk. I was bent in half. I was basically laying on his back windshield with my legs down, and I was like, Don't go under the wheels. Don't go under the wheels.

He ended up smashing me into the black truck, into the driver's side door of the black truck, ass first, basically. And because of that, I didn't get run over. But I broke my pelvis. I broke my orbital socket. I think that was the blow that caused me to lose consciousness. I was unconscious when I hit the ground.

Elizabeth Sines: He started backing over the people that he had hit. That’s when the panic really set in for me. It became obvious that he was trying to kill as many people as he could. We started screaming.

David Straughn: The car appeared suddenly, right in front of me. A grey Dodge Charger with the windshield smashed, and the bumper torn away from its right side. A man in front of me began whaling on the car with a large stick, bashing out the back window.

I chase after the car ’cause I just don't know what to do.

Emily Gorcenski tweets: After the car hit, I ran through the crowd because I was concerned he might pop out and start shooting. I pulled my weapon – no round was chambered – just in case that happened.  

Ryan Kelly, photojournalist: I actually chased the car, thinking he would get pulled over or get in a wreck or arrested. I thought I would capture that. But none of that happened. 

David Straughn: I chased after the car, which was long out of sight. I ran in futility. I had to do something. I had to do more.

Ryan Kelly: By the time I got up to the cross street, he was long gone. I asked a couple of people who saw what happened, they said he got farther than I could have made it. 

Back at the crash scene, survivors desperately tried to escape the middle of the street, but many couldn’t move.  

Bill Burke: I tried to get up and I don't even think I made it to my knees, I just went back down and passed out again.

Marcus Martin: I stood up and like everything just pushed up in my leg and I collapsed and that's when the pain started. My ankle was broken and my tibia was actually really bad: The injury came from my knee, the crack spiraled all the way down my bone.

Natalie Romero: The flashes, the noise. A lot of people are trying to talk to me. A lot of people are trying to keep me awake. I was holding a pole because I — I just wanted to lay down, but I knew if I laid down I would fall asleep. And if I fell asleep, I might not wake up. In trainings we were taught that all the time: Keep consciousness. Keep your consciousness, because you could die. So that's what I thought was about to happen. I thought that I was about to die. I was like, these are my last seconds of breath. I need to call my mom right now.

Marcus Martin: The medics just start running up to you. And I didn't know where Marissa was. And so when the medic was running up, Are you OK? I was just, Go find her. She’s wearing white shirt, blue shorts. I would say about five, six times they ran up to me, asked me what's wrong. And I told 'em, I gave ’em all the same answer: Find her.  

And then I heard her voice. Then I laid eyes on her and then that's when I could worry about myself.

Katrina Turner: We got separated. I couldn't find Rosia. I couldn't find my son. And I just get hollering, Rosia! Timmy? Rosia! Timmy! I just kept hollering for 'em.

But one of the [informal activist] security came and said, We will find Rosia. We will find Timmy, but you have to get to safety right now. So he took me into an alley and there were other people that had ran into this alley. So he told me, he said, You'll be safe right here. I'm going to find your son. We're going to get you to him.  

The activist security person found Timmy and brought him to Katrina, who could finally take a breath. 

IV. ‘I Always Wondered, Was She Afraid?’

As activists in other parts of downtown Charlottesville heard about the attack, many sprinted toward the scene to help.  

Don Gathers, co-founder, Charlottesville Black Lives Matter: When I tell you that it literally looked as though a bomb had been dropped in the middle of that intersection … there were bodies scattered literally everywhere. Blood, bruises, broken bones. There is just no describing the carnage that existed there.

Rev. Seth Wispelwey, co-founder Congregate Cville, progressive clergy group: There was blood everywhere. There was a young Black woman just writhing on the ground at the corner of the intersection. There's medics everywhere. There's glass, there's blood.

Don Gathers: We got there before emergency services did. We got there before the police did.

Rev. Seth Wispelwey: There were people performing CPR on a woman. And right next to them, I just kind of yelled in their ears, What do you need? How can we help? And they said, We need space. Please help clear the street.   

So we turned around, and at that point more of my Congregate colleagues were catching up, and so we helped clear the road.

Tadrint Washington: We were still in the car. I remember my sister just asking me, Are you OK, we going to be fine? And what she's seeing and what I'm seeing, it's not the same thing because I'm on this side of the car. And basically, when I pull myself back together, she was just like, Tay, they trying to resuscitate some woman over here, which we later learned was Heather.

Bill Burke: I was going in and out of consciousness. And one time when I woke up, they were doing CPR on Heather Heyer.

When Burke was hit, he fell backward, directly onto Heather Heyer’s body.

Bill Burke: I was right on top of her. My head was right on top of her chest. And they were doing CPR on her, and I was trying to count how many repetitions they were doing on her to try to stay awake. And I remember counting 29, and that was the last number and I was out again.

Heaphy report: Ms. Heyer succumbed to her injuries at the scene. Chief Baxter told us that she had already died when CFD [Charlottesville Fire Department] arrived, but given the raw emotions of the crowd fire fighters continued to perform CPR on her.

Fire Chief Andrew Baxter, Charlottesville Fire Department: People that are in cardiac arrest when we arrive on the scene, who've died from blunt trauma, don't survive. Heather Heyer's already passed away. In a mass casually incident, the correct thing to do is to write this patient off. That's what triage is: We're going to try and save some other people's lives.

But the first-to officer makes a decision. He read the tenor of the crowd. He said, We're working this, meaning we're going to do CPR and whatnot. I talked to him at length afterwards and I think it really was a conscious decision on his part.

Don Gathers: I stood right there on the corner where the paramedics were working on Heather, working as feverishly and as delicately as they could. And I know it sounds over-the-top, but I literally saw the life leave her body. There just wasn't anything that they could do...

I think it was at that point, it was at that moment that I think all the fight left my body. I just didn't have anything left.

Susan Bro, Heather Heyer’s mother: I always wondered: Was she afraid? Did she see him coming? She was deaf in one ear, so...   

Kendall King: We picked Natalie [Romero] up, just ’cause it was like total fucking chaos. At this point I was extremely distraught. I was not well. And my buddy, thank God, had a much more level head and was basically just like, Kendall, call an ambulance and tell them, tell them to meet us at the Market Street parking garage, cause we had to get out of there.

I mean, Heather Heyer was going through CPR right next to us and we were just like, This is so horrible. Like we can't have this person who's bleeding a lot and very delirious also be swarmed and stormed by all of these fucking reporters, who just have these big ass cameras in our face. I was like, this is absolutely absurd. You're in the way of us trying to get out.

Natalie Romero: They were like, We need to take you to the ambulance. But the ambulance wouldn't be able to make its way towards me. Because there was people on the ground and stuff. And I couldn't walk. So I had both arms on people's shoulders and they took me.

Elizabeth Sines: Not long after, a truck pulled up and no one knew if this was another vehicle — if that was part of an organized attack. All we could do was run.

Brennan Gilmore: There's no other explanation for what I just witnessed than an intentional attack on these people. During the summer, as I had dug more into this movement, I had started seeing these memes about “Black Lives Splatter,” and how to trick out your car to better run over protesters. And this was something that was on social media. Even people I knew, conservative classmates from high school and folks that I did fishing tournaments with and stuff, were posting these jokes on Facebook based just about running over protestors.

So, I remember at some point right in the aftermath, thinking, One of these guys has seen these memes and decided to be the one to do it.